Life at the Mirabeau House

Hello everyone when your reading this I hope your doing great! Today is 496 days that I have been taking my meds without forgetting. That’s so cool yes they have been uped a time or two since then that is just fine with me. Life at the Mirabeau House always fun lol we get eggs about three days week or so you take a shower whenever you want but atleast one day a week. Sometimes it seems that some people never shut up from the time they wake up to the time they go to bed and no for those that think I was just talking about myself no it’s not me. lol  You know some days I think what the hell I’m doing 2244 miles away from home family and friends. Well even when it’s cloudy and rainy coming in to Spokane WA to do anything on any given day it’s so pretty it makes it all worth it.  Also when me and Taylor run out of the house ready to go nuts, and walk way out to the river just so we can get away from everyone just for an hour or two.   I’m hoping soon to get a new powerchair soon so I can keep going places. Also Taylor and I go out for fast food almost everytime she gets money, cause you can get sick of soup almost every night. Now tonight were having corn dogs yahoo! Out here you have to watch your money because if you get a Candian dime it don’t work down here.  When I can I love going to church out here.  I also go to the Evergreen Club about two times a month.  Yes Taylor is only 20 by the way her birthday is the day after mine. I’m getting very lazy I don’t ever cook I don’t do my own wash anymore room gets cleaned Saturday and Thursdays. That’s all for now people It’s noon got go eat.

Good News

Got letter from Division of Vocational Rehabilitation. It says I’m eligible for services so like sometime next week I will call them.

I’m still alive!

Fould this site again so I will write more when my back don’t hurt so much sorry.

Well I’m up but….

I’m up I took my meds @ 7:30am. Ate the food the house cook made for us today. Lots of things going on in my mind today. Everyday I get up is a day I do the same things over and over.  Been thinking about going back to school just writing that makes me want to shit my pants.  Well music says lots of things I cant so Doctor and the Medics – Spirit in the Sky is how been thinking about like I know very well as of right now I’m going to the hot place.  Cause let’s see I jerk off at least 3 times a week, I swear a lot when I’m not having a bad few days I can take all the meds I can take in one day, but I still will bite your head off and be an ass hole. See in my boarding house where I live there is not a place to go be alone and pray or anything like that.  You know what I wouldn’t give to hold a woman in my arms again.  At 19 when I moved out of my mom & dads there in Springville I had everything just right paid my rent and a cell phone bill that my grandpa helped me start. I’ve been so lonely most of my life. I started asking God to give me someone since high school. Just someone to talk with sit next to in church (of course always keeping the 6′ inch rule) and just share life with.  Well since I could not seem to get someone in church. I went looking out in this bad bad world told to stay away from. Is what my dad and others preached to me true? Yes oh yes this world will take u use you hurt you I recall a message preached way before I left home called “The long kiss good bye” The main idea being even if u were sitting there that night u still maybe on your way to hell. That would be me most days.

Why me God I hate it so dam much

Well I’m not sure what think today have not had the feelings I’m having today in a long time. Went to Octapharma plasma services can’t give plasma cause can’t stand on scale with my feet turned in or stay on the scale for as long as needed. So at this point I cant get plasma for money.  What’s crazy thing is in the back of my mind during the ride there I had a feeling what happened was going to happen and it did.
Things like what happened today make me mad at myself my body and God yes I said God get over it. God made me this way from day one and yes it upsets me a lot I have been turned down for jobs before cause you needed to be able to lift things and so on. I know I get look at when I go places.  I’m so sick of stuff right now if I wasn’t disabled I feel I could have been a better husband cause I would have been able work better make more money. Their would have not been issues in the bedroom if I wasn’t disabled. If I wasn’t disabled I would work my ass off hard just like my dad and his dad before him. I would have a pickup to drive and I could have any woman I wanted. I can only act fine for so long it hurts and hurts so much I hate it.

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Trevor Bayne’s victory in the Daytona 500

This event is cool as hell in my mind anyway. Trever is only 20 years old. I’m 27 years old now I wish at 20 years old I would have done more with my life than what I have done.  But I’m thinking about going to school.

Well went to court to end it and I’m alive. Lol

This one is going to be at least R- rated. Alright you have been told so if u keep reading and don’t like it well I told u so deal with. So I’m no longer married as Feb 1 2011. Well everyone keeps asking me how I doing and such? The answer is odd but here it goes putting it into words.  I don’t lie when I write these so Monday the night before as much as I didn’t want it to happen I held it back as long as I could as I laid down to sleep I broke down and cried myself to sleep so hoping I didn’t wake  up room mate that night. Even now as I wrote that just now I watered my eyes just a little. If that doesn’t make me a man in your eyes well kiss my ass. I showed up for court with my friend Teacum she showed up with her mom & dad both.  Well the person running the show asked me if I wanted anything before I went into the room I asked that her dad not be in the room well it took a few but yes they took him out and let me bring my friend back with me. They hand you two packets u look at them if  you don’t have anything to say or add it’s done over no more bullshit head games or lies. My friend took me out to eat I went home and just a little sad to say for the last two weeks been happier since maybe my second day out here in Washington. Even went out a had some harmless fun with some very nice females those that know me this stop and thing hard you will know what I did.  Do I have regrets yes I do. Some that I didn’t listen to anyone that told me please oh please don’t do this don’t go stop and think Cori. I know for one time I would have listened to my dad. I should have waited saved up and had some kind of honeymoon.